Top Ten Reasons Why My New Job Will Be Better Than My Old One


10. The new workplace (see above) sure beats the old office
9. Lawmakers have history of running off to Oklahoma on a whim
8. My new boss doesn't make reporters sign contracts (proof there is a God)
7. When KVUE wins award money, managers throw a hugeass party on a boat. Who doesn't love getting tipsy on the high seas, for free?
6. Being reunited with the TX TV posse will feel so good
5. A gubenatorial race featuring a guy named Kinky and a chick named Grandma
4. A 9-6 shift means I'll be home to catch Aaron Sorkin's new series on NBC
3. Lt. Gov Andre Bauer = no longer my problem
2. Now that I'm a beat reporter, no more heat wave stories. Now that's hot!
1. Austin. A much easier TV market to say than Greenville-Spartanburg-Asheville-Anderson-Gaffney-Travelers Rest
Posted by E
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The Peachoid and Stephen Colbert: My Two Great Loves On One Screen
I still don't understand how Colbert went home empty handed Sunday night. Dude, the guy managed to do an entire segment on why South Carolina kicks Georgia's ass in peach production!

If you didn't see it... don't miss your chance.

If you can't see the video for some reason, here's an excerpt:

When you're going through my home state of South Carolina, you'll see sign after sign saying "Peaches" and "Fireworks". Not a bad combination by the way.
When you get to Gaffney, South Carolina, you'll see the famous peach-shaped water tower. You'll have to look carefully, because you can just barely make it out over the 18 THOUSAND ACRES of peach trees!
The only thing I would have added is a shoutout to the "Peach Salsa" billboards. They say "Peach Salsa! MUCHO TASTY!"
Now if that's not marketing genius, I don't know what is.
Posted by E
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Belated Men of the Week
Stephen Colbert, ROBBED!
Frank V0lpicella, hired me
My BFF, Mr. Reddy (I forgot his birthday and will never forgive myself)

Belated Snippet from Stiles
"Guess what I did? I saw M@ry Benton doing a live shot in front of City Hall and my office was in the background. So I smacked my window blinds really hard so you could see the blinds going crazy in the background of her live shot. I wonder if the photographer noticed. He probably did. I couldn't help myself."
Posted by E
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Discovering Family Secrets
ST. LOUIS - Have come upstairs to escape dinner party in which my dad just brought out his complete Princess Diana stamp collection. How have I gone my entire life not knowing about this? Turns out he's collected every Princess Di stamp issued since 1980. Now I feel like I've never truly known my father! Ahhh!
Posted by E
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The Office Space Pilgrimage

"Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

Now that I'm moving to Austin, I can properly pay homage to one of the best products of the American film industry, Office Space. The movie was filmed in Austin -- in Austin's traffic, in Austin's anonymous office parks. So if anyone else is interested, pack your Jump to Conclusions Mat, 37 pieces of flair and the worst printer in your office so we can take it into a field and wail on it.

4120 Friedrich Lane, Austin, Texas, USA
(Initech office exteriors)

9739 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texas, USA
(Chotchkie's restaurant exteriors)
Posted by E
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It's All Over But The Shoutin' (as they say here in the South)
For the first time, I get to break news on my blog.

Tomorrow I will put in my two weeks notice to leave my job and the state of South Carolina. Last week (when we ran into Johnny Knoxville) I went to visit KVUE, the Belo station in Austin.

They made me an offer I couldn't turn down -- full time political reporter in my home state's crazy capitol. No more general assignment murder suicides and brush fires for me. Statehouse jobs in TV are fewer and farther between, and covering the three ring circus that is politics in Texas can't be beat.

It puts this political journalist much closer to another political journalist -- my boyfriend Mr. Stiles. Incidentally, the two of us first met in the cafeteria of Belo's headquarters.
Posted by E
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Man/Boy of the Week
John Mark Karr
(This guy is one creepy fellow, whether he killed JonBenet or not. If anyone wants to take the John Mark Karr tour of Thailand, there's this hotel where Karr stayed for $12 a day.)

Snippet from Stiles: Creepy Karr Edition
Me: What's with his flopping around into the arms of the Thai guys when he was walking into the presser? And how come the Thai officials were mugging for the cameras?
Stiles: I think the more important question is why he wears his pants up to his tits.
Posted by E
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I'm a Jackass!
So, apparently Johnny Knoxville was behind me in the bar on Tuesday night. I didn't find out until the next day.
Posted by E
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Men of da Week
Ned Lamont
Dan, back from Africa

Snippet from Stiles: Terror in the Sky
Me: Is Osama that tall?
Stiles: Yeah! He's like 6'4". He's the Shaquille O'Neal of Saudis. You've seen his videos. He wouldn't be that praying mantisy if he weren't that all.
Posted by E
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Point Me To The Steak Fingers

Of all the cafeteria food selections in elementary school, steak fingers had to be my favorite. The pizza made with cardboard crust and ketchup for sauce came a close second, but I knew that was gonna be tough to find in the real world.

So I've been on a Great Steak Finger Search. But Dairy Queen, which used to serve the steak finger basket, apparently retired steak fingers from their menu years ago. So if anyone knows where I can find me some of the above, please let me know.
Posted by E
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Club Liquid
Since when did lipstick count as a liquid? I don't like checking ANYTHING before I fly. Now I get to check a makeup bag while everything else gets to come on board with me.

I'm also curious about fro-yo. I like to get me a little TCBY for the taxi to the runway. Am I not gonna be able to bring that on the plane now? Because I think so long as it's properly frozen, yogurt could be considered non-liquid.
Posted by E
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I Will Never Be A Cat Person
I have two cats. They are terrorists. Today, Caesar decided to sleep on my open laptop while I was away at lunch. When I returned home, he had SCRATCHED FIVE KEYS (a, s, d, z, and x) OFF my laptop's keyboard. I am thinking about skinning him.
Posted by E
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They Say it's Men of the Week Time...
Stacey Woelfel, happy birthday
Cheese the cat, started a new diet
John Madden, why not?!

..and the Snippet from Stiles gets weirder
"I shaved lines in my eyebrows, too. To look like Vanilla Ice. A group of us did it."
Posted by E
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American Airlines Writes Back
You may recall I had to throw down last month. Some gate bitch at an AA counter at DFW was rude to an Asian lady who couldn't speak great English. Then she described her as "that Oriental woman" while I was standing there.

Decided to compose a little complaint letter, only all I got in response was a postcard saying they received it. Then, this week, I actually got five paragraph response letter from a dude named Tim:

Dear [Me],

Blah blah blah... "It is our policy to look at the whole picture, as I'm sure you will agree that internal review is in order." Blah blah blah blah blah.
"Please know that American Airlines' policy prohibits racism or discrimination of any kind."

Then comes a fun paragraph, detailing how AA cares about diversity:

"In 1995, we began a Diversity Action Council"...
...something about "sensitivity training"...

"Thank you for giving us a chance to improve... Please be encouraged to travel with us again soon."

What? No free frequent flier miles?
Posted by E
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