5.30.2004
New "Anchorman" Trailer
I've signed up for the daily emails from TV Legend Ron Burgundy. Now, the most eagerly awaited movie of the summer (by TV people, anyway) has a new trailer up. And it highlights "the station war to end all station wars". . Check out Anchorman here.

Speaking of station wars, Ed Bark writes about Dallas station wars, and how the big 8 can't stop the big slippage.
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5.29.2004
Interchangeable First/Last Names
Our tape editor's name is Hamilton Stewart. Like Warren Christopher, his name works both frontwards and backwards. This is not the case for my name, so I have spent much of the day yelling "Stewart Hamilton, (beat) Hamilton Stewart" across the newsroom for no reason. He stopped responding an hour ago.
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Forget Colonial House, This is Colonial Newsroom
Still no water at work. The news director has stopped drinking coffee, and I'm guessing it's so that he doesn't have to use the restroom. That makes him cranky. So, this water problem is much graver than originally thought.
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Confirmed
I have a strong aversion to Mr. Pibb.
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5.28.2004
Re: The "Possibly Owen Wilson" Blog
Thanks Fisc, for the link.
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5.27.2004
The Past Day or So, A Quick Rundown
- Learned about a new reality show called Colonial House on PBS. It's like The Real World, only they fight over maize instead of men.
- Watched MU beat up on OU at the Big 12 Tourney in Arlington. They take on Baylor today at 5.
- Random guy at bar yells "M-I-Z" from across the patio upon seeing my Mizzou shirt. Couldn't let poor M-I-Z just hang out there without its Z-O-U, so I obnoxiously yelled back. Hey why not. Everyone there was drunk anyway.
- Met Chris' (still unnamed) new kitten. All was well until he locked the kitty in his bedroom on accident, and didn't know how to get back in. Screeching - from the cat, and cursing - from Chris, ensued. The cat sounded like Yoko Ono. Spent 30 minutes putting random objects into the keyhole to try and unlock the door. Paperclips, bobby pins, other assorted long skinny metal things. No luck. Maitenance man came an hour later, unlocked it with (DOH!) a screwdriver. We're idiots.
- Had the best banana split ever.
- Discovered I am unwittingly (and until recently, unknowingly) on match.com, the computer dating service. Long story.
- They decided to cut off the water at work. We're all going to be fertilizing the landscaping tonight.
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Why I Should Stop Complimenting People
Me: You have pretty eyelashes.
Daniel: What about my eyes, b*tch?!?
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5.24.2004
The Partisan Press
People in journalism tend to talk about journalism a lot, but my friend Brannon talks about journalism a lot, too. We've engaged in an interesting back-and-forth on his blog because he's a "liberal" media hatin' conservative. Consider this your call to arms, media brethren. Join in.

Never a Man of the Week
Note: To those of you who have had to listen to me ramble and babble on about a certain reporter for the past four years, I am officially OFF the B-H train. (But not the OTHER BH - as in Bill Hemmer - train.) Time to move on with my life, lest the train run me over. And also, I shouldn't be hatin' on the nemesis just because he happens to stare at her lovingly and call her little nicknames on the air. Though "the nickname" Scott S*ms gave her was quite funny.
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5.23.2004
"Men of the Week" Time
Christopher "More Cowbell" Walken
Orel Hershiser
Jim English
S%deep Reddy*
Dan, who's finally moved to DFW to make puns for a living at the Star-Telegram

*Gets a second Men of the Week nod for speaking so eloquently about the Strategic Petroleum Reserve on national TV, because who talks about the "S-R-C" to begin with, much less eloquently?
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5.22.2004
A Night at the Field formerly known as The Ballpark
Rangers took on the Yankees last night and we (John, Ryan, his gf Andi and I)were so there. I can't decide what I liked the most about the guy sitting next to me. It's a toss-up between a.)his mullet, b.)his multi-colored macrame belt, or c.)his elbow driving into my rib cage for four innings.
LEARN TO SHARE the arm rest, BUDDY!
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5.21.2004
I'm Pumped
Former Man of the Week Sudeep R*ddy is about to make a CNBC appearance (3:45CDT) to talk about none other than GAS PRICES. He he he. I'm tuning in once I figure out which channel CNBC is on. Sudeep is THE MAN for a number of reasons, only one of which is his gas expertise. Another is his apartment's location across the street from a Chipotle.
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5.19.2004
Can't Hang with the Bangs
After about six weeks of upkeep, I've decided the bangs are going to have to go. Bangs are not part of a no-muss, no-fuss hairstyle. In fact, they are ALL-muss, ALL-fuss, ALL-the-time. Apparently Jennifer Aniston shares my sentiment, as her big bangs are going bye-bye-bye, too. Um, I can't believe I'm still posting about bangs...OK enough.
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Staying Awake at Graduation
Jon Stewart began his commencement address to the students of William and Mary, "I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are." If he thought William and Mary's was bad, all I gotta say is at least he wasn't at MY college graduation. I can't decide which part of that guy's speech I liked better. When he included as one of his main points that exercise is important for a healthy lifestyle ("for instance, kayaking or aerobics"), or when it finally ended... and Becker had to wake me up cause I'd started napping after point two (of five).
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5.16.2004
I May be Behind on This, but if you HAVEN'T Seen it..
Holy Vaca, this is heeelarious. Official Website of Missouri Athletic Mediocrity and Disappointment
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5.15.2004
Almost Forgot
Smarty Jones makes "men of the week" for winning the Preakness. Though not human, Smarty IS male.
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MEN of the WEEK, fourth edition
Curt Wohleber, because he's so money and doesn't even know it.
Chris Becker (Happy Birthday)
Fraiser Crane
Kobe Bryant
Byron Nelson (92 and he doesnt look a day past 82)
Michael Palin. I used to enjoy these geography specials he hosted. They aired on PBS or something but we watched them almost every morning because I had a lazy Geography teacher in 12th grade.
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Yes, You, the Gecko in the Back...
We just pulled down the raw from Colorado Governor Bill Owens' presser about the three people smashed by a 40-ton steel beam as they were driving under a highway overpass. Something about Owens made me think he was about to say it was all a joke and he just saved a hundred dollars on his car insurance.
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Attn: People Who Know the Wonder that is Wohleber
Curt Wohleber, who unsuccessfully taught me HTML, has started the Wohleblog. This has made my day. And HE'S MADE "Men of the Week". I'm sure he's just as excited as can be, seeing as he has this tendency to turn around and walk the other way when he sees me coming.
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Re: Slogans
Remember when a gunman opened fire at a Luby's in Killeen (also in my viewing area) and killed about two dozen people or something? It prompted R Kelly to come up with a slogan of his own:
"Killeen. Where your drive-thru is also a drive-by."

I am way too easily amused.
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5.14.2004
Oh, The Irony...
"Thank God. I thought he'd never leave." --60 Minutes' 842 year old Mike Wallace on Don Hewitt's pending retirement.

Thanks for the Memories
My movie critic friend Chris has some clout. Dallas' Magnolia Theatre showed Monty Python and The Life of Brian JUST for him last night... (and me, by extension.) Apparently they do that for him often. Lucky guy. So after the movie finished just a little before 1am, and we were ready to leave, no one was there to let us out! We got locked inside the Magnolia for a good 25 minutes before we found a guy in the projection room to free us. I guess his clout guarantees lots of free movies and private screenings, but you may just have to stay put once you get there.

Dallas Slogans Can't Compare
Craven brings 67 Degrees some city slogans that are sure to bring more tourists to Waco:
- "If you have one year to live, spend it in Waco -- because every day is like a @#$ing eternity."
- "Sex kills. Come to Waco and live forever."
- "Waco -- You don't have to be a pedophile religious zealot to enjoy your stay. But it doesn't exactly hurt."
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5.13.2004
Could the East China Sea Possibly be the Problem?
S Wo's headed to my ancestral homeland soon. I'm jealous, cause not counting the visit to Hong Kong when it was still under British rule, I'VE never been to my ancestral homeland. His email today...
"Beijing is 664 miles (1068 km) from Shanghai. Interestingly, Taipei is only 429 miles (690 km) from Shanghai, though a slow drive."
I can't imagine why.
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5.11.2004
Dallasites:
WHOA. Is Gloria Campos' hair this week some sort of sweeps stunt? And we thought Debbie Denmon looked like she just popped out of an egg!
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Variations on a Theme
Hey guess what? Gas prices are at record highs (nominally). Bet you didn't know that.
Here at work, we've taken beating a dead horse to another level. So I bring you "Gas Price Stories" of 2004. (And we're not even in the summer travel season yet.)
- Rising gas costs mean it costs more to fill up the fridge
- Biggest jump in gas prices
- Hybrid cars
- Scams at the pump
- Gas prices take bite out of school district budgets
- Explaining crude oil costs to gas price connection
- Cracking down on drive-offs
- Where to find cheap gas
- How to get the best gas mileage
- US relationship with OPEC
- Pizza delivery dudes and gas prices
- Taxes on gas
- Gas prices: Gulf War time vs Now
- Economists say stop whining about gas prices

I personally like the last one best.
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5.09.2004
Men of the Week
This week's installment...
U-s, h-e-r, R-a, y-m, o-n-d.. "baby tell you what you want to do"...
Orlando Bloom. Again, "baby tell me what you want to do"...
Chandler Bing
Chris Vognar, D@ve Levinthal and $udeep Reddy, who all managed to put up with my incoherence last Friday. $udeep was available for comment and said, "I've waited the last three weeks for this honor. It's a dream come true." He added (on an unrelated note), "I love Josh Lyman."
Ken Brooks, Erica's father, because she put in a nomination this week.
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5.08.2004
While We're on the Topic of Music
Memories of the best Primetime special ever...

Whitney Houston: Lets get one thing straight. We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke Crack. Crack is Whack!

Bobby Brown: [sweating profusely] No one can touch me as an entertainer. No One.
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I'm "Indifference"
Which Pearl Jam Song Are You?
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Candy Land
After Dave, Michael and Mateo spent the day byline-orgying, (see the tangled double-byline web they weaved in the DMN), it's possible Mateo was just seeing things. But a woman at the bar tonight seriously was the spitting image of the healthy Miss Crowley.

Run from the Border
The woman who works at the Taco Bell drive-thru recognized me. "Oh, you're the girl that smells good. Where have you been lately?" Hrmmm... Note to self: No more chalupas for at least... forever.
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5.06.2004
What I Liked About "The Last One"
That they used the best few bars of my favorite song when Ross missed Rachel (the first time). Pearl Jam forever.

Then again...
Now that I think about it, Zack Attack's "Friends Forever" or even "Did We Ever Have a Chance" may have also been good choices.
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Friends is Ending?
Funny, I haven't seen any press about it. You'd think they would promo it or something.

Why I Read The Dallas Morning News
'Cause they have a columnist named Ben Dover. Wonder if he got beat up on the playground.
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5.05.2004
Message Board Banter
"Foxy Lady" asks: What does it take to work for Fox News?
"Falderal" replies: I paraphrase Jack Nicholson in As Good As it Gets: Think of a man, and take away reason and accountability. That's pretty much what it takes to work for Fox News.
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Thanks, Max
If you're curious to know what wet dog smells like, stop by my cube. For today's hard-hitting journalistic endeavor, I visited a local vet to talk about the stratospheric cost of taking care of Fido. I thought, human healthcare's a lost cause, perhaps we can figure out how to spend less on our four-legged friends. Max, who looked much like Hooch from the Oscar-worthy Tom Hanks film, starred in my standup. Only problem was, Max was still wet from an earlier bath and seemed to want to "get freaky," if you will.
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5.04.2004
Re: Crushes on Random People in the Service Sector
The Time Warner Cable guy has nice stubble and is sort-of-hot. However, any strangers that have been inside my pad also go on the "suspected apartment burglar" list, so it's a draw.
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Waco Didn't Make The List???
The Worst Places to be a Reporter...
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5.02.2004
Somebody Get a Tourniquet
We're still hemhorraging employees. Two more people quit on Friday, leaving ONE person on the staff that's actually reporting five days a week, because the rest of us are plugging personnel holes in order to actually put out regular newscasts. Even the character dubbed the "village idiot" is jumping this dysfunctional ship.

As if I Needed ANOTHER Reason to go to Starbucks
New Crush Alert: The guy working the drive-thru at my neighborhood Starbucks is PRECIOUS! Don't know who he is/what he is called. Perhaps the mystery is what I find so intruiging. I added $20 to my Starbucks gift card yesterday just so I had a reason to stick around longer. Almost dropped another seven bucks to buy a signature Starbucks water bottle but decided that would be going overboard.
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5.01.2004
Take that, Rewind it Back
So we're coming up on a year now since the MOJO Class of 2003 crowded a rank smelling gym to receive our passes-to-leave Columbia. (No need to mention the graduation speaker, who made me want to execute myself.)
I'm excited to see what becomes of '03, since without having graduated yet, '04 gets to boast of Mike Hall, the next Sportscenter anchor, and I unwrapped my Dallas Morning News yesterday to see Katie "Katharine" Goodloe on the front page. Also '04.
We've got the Times' Pat "Patrick" Healy, though. That should make for some serious name-dropping currency somewhere.
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