Spartanburg Scanner Traffic
This just heard: "Yeah, we gotta six-year-old hit in the head with a rock. It's gonna be your sixth trailer on your right."
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The New Guard
Even though the poster of Tom's face continues to stare at me from across the room, Brian's been holdin' it down Williams style for the past month or so. Still annoying? The area around his eyes that's whiter than the rest of his face, because the makeup's uneven, or he's fake baking.

Ending the Streak
Have been working nearly two weeks straight. But sunshine's around the corner, big D awaits. If no sunshine's actually available, perhaps I'll take a cue from Brian Williams.
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Super Subduction
The rush is on to LOCALIZE the tsunamis in Asia. I get a call from my Dallas TV reporter friend asking if I had any ideas about it last night, then The Matt's editor says the push at his paper will be to find local angles on the disaster, too.

Note: Doesn't it seem like the Mother Nature's gone schizophrenic this year? I mean, how many hurricanes this summer? And a foot of snow in South Texas? Now, the tsunami that swallows tens of thousands. Armageddon must be near.
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The Fritz Special
We're pre-empting our underachieving NBC prime time Tuesday night to air a special on outgoing US Senator Fritz Hollings, (D)South Carolina.
His press office just released 38 Hollingsisms in honor of his 38 years in the Senate. A sample:

"If you want a lesson in political anonymity, sponsor a bill with Phil Gramm."

"That is what the polls will tell you: Don't say you are 'for' or 'against,' just say you are 'concerned.'  So we say we are 'concerned' and we keep getting reelected and the country goes to hell in an economic hand pot."

"Like the monkey making love to the skunk, I can't stand anymore of this."

"Sam, if you want to personalize it, I got it right down the street from where you got that wig."  On ABC's 'This Week' in 1990, when Sam Donaldson asked him where he got his 'Korean suit.'
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Here's the photographer I work with most of the time, Chip. This way he seems more like a real person. Posted by Hello
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Today Chip and I each took three toys from the Salvation Army toy drive collection. Then, while waiting for an interview we opened up a plastic lacrosse set and chucked the plastic ball at each other for a good twenty minutes. (But we didn't take the lacrosse set home with us.)
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More Year in Review
Drink of the Year: Sangria

Personal Fad: Adding "the" in front of everything. i.e. "The" Syphillis. "The" Tim.

THE Great Regret: Let's just say I didn't make out well in Vegas.

Most annoying people of 2004: Lindsay Lohan. The shirtless Waco neighbor. A co-worker who shall remain nameless.

New experiences: The 18 hundred hurricanes. Peeing in an RV. Co-hosting a radio morning show. Trees.

Winning consumer products: Aussie MEGA hair conditioner, Arm and Hammer Cat Litter Deodorizer, lint brushes

Texas faves I miss: Taco Cabana tortillas, Whataburger taquitos, the chicken fried steak from George's in Waco

Commercials I liked: Just kidding. I said I would stop posting about that.
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Decisions 2004
As we get set to retire the year that was, a Jack look back. (First in a series)

Trifecta of Tribulation. That's how I describe the start of 2004. Marty died, my place got burglarized, then my parked car got rammed into. Things eventually turned around.

Moving On. A move from Waco to Spartanburg took me from one infrastructureless, blue-collar city to another.

New Responsibilities. Two cats, a plant, a job.

Throwing Away the Old. Random college-esque smooches? Zero. Trading in the randoms for one number-one man? Priceless.

Keeping Resolutions. Well, I didn't make any, so I guess I didn't keep any.
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Um, Thanks?
Minutes before Friday's liveshot, a Greenville firefighter says to me:
"You look much smarter in person."
What the...
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Getting the Call
DUDE! The whole "nothing's happening" thing came to a screeching halt when the boss called today with what he called a pitch. Every year the whole sports department goes down to Florida for a week to cover the Superbowl of NASCAR, but every year the news department sends one crew to do "newsy Nascar stories with local interest". (Well, the local interest part is almost guaranteed.) He wants that crew to consist of Chip and me. DUDE! Nascar!
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I am on some sort of blogging kick this week. Too bad not much is happening.
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Re: Watching the Competition
Mr Stiles kindly pointed out that in Josh Witsm@n's online resume tape, he had something more to show us in his standup than just a seatbelt demonstration.
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Foxing Out
Me: I think it would be okay to work for Fox as an international correspondent. Would you disown me if I took an INTERNATIONAL gig with Fox?

Mattman: Yes. You'd still be working for the Prince of Darkness. That man's as dangerous to the world as Kim Jung Il.
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Steroids Senior High
All it takes to get a call from the Superfan himself is your old high school making the dubious cover of Newsweek.
Plano West has a lacrosse team. Though, I don't think that's the story. (reg req)
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Watching the Competition
I have some time before heading to a Greer City Council meeting tonight, which should mark the culmination of a long ass search for a Police Chief.
When bored at work, a fun thing to do is go to this site, where you can watch people's resume tapes online. Viewing tip: The best ones are the "news interns" with 0-1 years experience.
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Re: The AOL Ad, Again
I must watch a lot of programming where the AOL ad appears. Because the more I watch/listen to it, the more I think it is Julia Roberts doing the voiceover. I read once that lots of American actors will do commercials -- either in another country, or only lend their voices. It's possible... though I doubt it really is Julia, because, um, WHY would she do that.

OK, I'm done. This is my final AOL ad related post.
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First, let's go to the polls...
Looks like TV journalists outscore newspaper journalists in a honesty and ethics, according to a recent Gallup poll.
Us: 1
Them: 0

Among sweeps stunts this past ratings period:
FAKE bloopers in Philadelphia
Post-thanksgiving plumbing problems in Buffalo
Dopple the Chia Pet dog in Houston
Us: 0
Them: 14,923,479,845,672,934,823
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Re: The So Hot Right Now AOL Ad
Clearly I am not the only person who thinks that AOL ad rocks. Looks like a number of people accidently found 67 Degrees yesterday because they were searching for "sound of a yeti" and "if my computer could make the sound of".
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The Dealbreakers
The obvious relationship dealbreakers are easy. Bad kissers, convicted felons, excessively bad hygiene. But Baudo and I got to talking today, and came up with dealbreakers of our own, because these people actually existed, and we went out with them. (Which makes you wonder who's the bigger dunce here.)

1. Extreme Mormonism
2. Being on a "blood-type diet". (As in, "Tom" won't go out for ice cream b/c he's type O)
3. Using eye cream and covering his car when he parks it. (Yep, true story)
4. Eyes that are two different colors
5. Huge hair spikes that don't move
6. Calling you Elisabeth on your first date*
7. No sense of direction (This is obviously a double standard. Okay for women, not okay for men.)
8. Wearing soccer shorts on your first date
9. Poetry derivations of Roses are Red, Violets are Blue

*This of course would NOT be a dealbreaker if one's name was indeed Elisabeth.
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A Visit from Foreigners
Guests* arrived Friday night and Saturday morning. I have shown them the area by hitting hot spots like Bob Jones University, where all the girls wear skirts. And interracial dating just recently became permissable.

Speaking of race and religion, the religious zealot man with the sandwich board saying "Ye Must Repent" mistook my Indian friend to be Mexican. I guess when one has darker skin but is not black you are to assume he's Hispanic.

*The Fisc, Miss Tseggai, D-Lev, Mr Reddy
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LOS ANGELES (AP) - T-V stations in Los Angeles are refusing to run an adult-oriented public service message that uses a lumpy, red cartoon character to warn people about the dangers of syphilis.
The 30-second ad features a character called "Phil the Sore" and other members of his family, who carry boxes labeled "brain damage," "rash" and "blindness."
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Eyes Wide Shut
I went in for my annual eye exam this morning (yep, still blind) and since I am a new patient, the doctor decided to do the eye dilation drops.
I didn't get those big shades (dilation makes you sensitive to light), so driving home was the most wretching experience of my time here.
Also, I remember learning that your pupils dilate when looking at someone you're attracted to. So today, it basically seems like I'm hot for everyone I see.
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