On the Road(s) Again
Men of the Week spoiler - John Craven will get props for carting my sorry drivers license-less butt to Austin to get my license reinstated. And R Kelly came with.. he likes Austin so much he calls it "his baby" and starts every conversation with "Back when I lived in Austin..." with "One time, at band camp" inflection.
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But "Conversate" STILL Isn't a Word, Right?
RivroadsteR: so here's my latest "piss-off" of the day
RivroadsteR: i found out that orientate is a word
RivroadsteR: i'm mad b/c i always thought ppl just used that incorrectly
RivroadsteR: like supposibly
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Mind the Gap
It's no secret I tend to like men who are older than me, and that can means age-gaps of a decade or so, but not necessarily. (It's just especially the case when it comes to "he-with-whom-the-nemesis-eats-breakfast.")
I mention the Lolita complex because I thought Monday's Scrabble champs -- Austin and Coleman -- were VERY cool. And it is sort of sad, because I know that when I was in eighth grade, I would have wanted to cheat off of either of them in Algebra I, but I wouldn't have wanted to get together with them on the weekends for a good board game or two. :(
So here's to awesome eighth graders, true to themselves AND the pursuit of memorizing all 96 two-letter words.
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Like, Omigosh
Terpstra's favorite people, The Olsen Twins, are all grown up and adult members of our litigious society. Multimillionaires and suspected drug addicts they may be, but they've got game. A video game. And Mary Kate and Ashley are mad... because they aren't getting played. Well, I'm sure they are getting PLAYED, but that's neither here nor there.
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Got out of doing another gas prices story to do a feature on two Waco middle school boys who took 14th out of 105 teams in a national scrabble tournament this weekend. I'm excited cause I'm going to ask them a lot of questions about strategy for my own selfish purposes.
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He Didn't Make "Men of the Week," But Here's a Worthwhile Read
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Draft Day 2004, Baby
I am pretending to be excited because I love Casey on Sports Night. Oh wait, he's a fictional character. I am feigning excitement for fake people? Hrmm...

Anyway, on with The Men of the Week.
-Eli Manning, cause he got what he wanted - any team but the Chargers.
-Pat Tillman
-The Soldiers of the 4th ID. They are finally back home at Fort Hood.
-Mark Ruffalo, who the Chronicle calls "a heartthrob for women with high IQs," which doesn't explain why I like him.
-Bryan Mathews, because he made the underlining go away on this blog...
-News T*n's Ryan Kelly, because he's available for comment, and helped get me a bite for my story Wednesday. Says Ryan, "Making Men of the Week is the greatest honor any young Irishman can receive. I promise to uphold my duties to continue the longstanding two-week tradition of Men of the Week."
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Nemesis in the News
You know, the nemesis sure seems to get a lot of press. Recently WFAA Channel 8 morning @nchor Scott S@ms was suspended three days for calling the nemesis a "Greek b*tch." Writes the Observer: "Wonder if adding ethnicity to the insult softens it. Does "Italian asshole" sound almost complimentary? Discuss." The full nemesis-related piece here.
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Re: Pesky Bugs
Note - I just smacked myself in the face really hard because one of the little flying Lucifers seemed unable to leave my eye-region.
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Attack of the Killer Gnats
As I write, there are little bugs buzzing around my computer screen, and they are serving not only to ANNOY but to FRIGHTEN me. WHY? Why must my sense of sanity be threatened by dozens -- if not more -- of nameless, elusive bug-things??!?!?!?! I should be able to EAT FOOD in my own HOME without the BUGS buzzing around.

Also, it cannot be seen or heard due to my lack of technological expertise, however, I just attempted to kill one with my bare hands and failed supremely. I am going insane.
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N*ws Ten. Your Central Texas News Leader.
We're serious journalists, really. An excerpt from today's morning meeting:
Engineer K*rby P0pe: "Wet Pekingnese have to be the ugliest animals in the world."
News Director Ri(k Br@dfield: "Do they count as a breed? Seems like they're just life support for hair."
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And now... The Men of The Week
Phil Mickelson (not MIKE-el-son, Miss Elizabeth Vargas)
Tony Blair (your country may hate you but you're still sexy)
Quentin Tarrantino
Michael Kelly
George Clooney (though he'll be on every man of the week list until the end of time)
News T#n's Matt Iazetti (because we both went without a shower Thursday due to water main breaks)
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Grand Raveworthy Euphoria
Since Tulsa ain't calling, the 'rents will let me quit my mindnumbing job and loaf if I can manage to score well enough on the GRE to actually get into my dream-grad-school, Georgetown. Enter two new "currently reading" titles: "GRE for Dummies" and "Cracking the GRE."
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Mmmmmm Bop
Hanson is on Good Morning America right now. Yes, they are releasing a third album this week.
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Back in Texas
Spent some lovely days in MO with the nuclear fam, minus Roger, who is in Tucson. I don't expect there will be much to blog about over the next seven days, as I'll be working, where it's like an arid desert where nothing germinates. Updates about paint drying to come. :)
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The E-M-M-Y's
As if her anonymity wasn't already blown, I will say "the nemesis" does daily traffic reports and sometimes anchors. Herndon and I once got quite a laugh when she was anchoring, aka reading the prompter, aka karaoke-ing without music, and called the ESPY (pronounced ES-pee) awards the E-S-P-Y awards. Right, like the O-S-C-A-R awards or the G-R-A-M-M-Y's.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was to find out the Mid-Atlantic Emmys have added a new category...TRAFFIC REPORTING. The surly editor of newsblues.com rants:

"[A traffic reporting category] makes your surly editor wonder how long until they add these important categories....

--Best newscast WITHOUT NEWS

--Outstanding achievement in FONT SPELLING




--Best performance on SPLIT SHIFT

--Management Excellence in AVOIDING CHARGES of Age, Racial or Sex Discrimination"
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Peace Out, Cousins
Headed to the 'Lou and BoCoMo for a few days. Watch my apartment while I'm gone.

COMO Appointments Tuesday:
11:00am The Clip Joint with Chanel for cut and bang trim
12:00pm Sake with Woelfel
1:15pm Coldstone Creamery with Purschw!tz and Brooks
2:00pm Artisan with another Eng20 classmate, Robin Cook, whose real name is Richard Robert (for you trivia junkies)
3:00pm unknown location, Sheehan and Young Haag
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Oh, and I, I Could Fly Higher Than an Eagle...
The Lasure-Beam recently covered the death of a horse in Northern Arkansas. The owner had a funeral for said horse.. and Lasure was invited so - never wanting to turn down an invite to a horse funeral - she attended. Things went smoothly for her, until post-eulogy, when the family started blaring Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings.
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Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Apparently my drivers license has been revoked. This, from my general manager, who called me into his office this morning saying they did a regular background check only to discover it's illegal for me to be on the roads. Upon investigation, I found he was correct. LONG story, but I am not supposed to be at the wheel until I make it down to Austin to get my license reinstated. This is grrrrreat. Won't be blogging for awhile if I'm jailed, just FYI.
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On This Day in 2003...
April 8th, 2003 marks the inauguration of "Boozeday Tuesday" at the 'Berg in Columbia. (RIP, Berg.) Some may remember that the reason we KOMU-ers met for the first "Boozeday Tuesday" (coined by one Beth Marsoun) was because we were fried from covering the election that day...

Which BRINGS ME TO the next "On this day in 2003."
Hours before the first Boozeday, Boone County Clerk Wendy Noren lashed out at me after I asked some benign question, saying the following: "I can tell by looking at you that you're the kind of reporter that doesn't care about facts." (Uhhh.... WHAT??? Who? Where? When? Why?)

Wendy Noren and I have not spoken since.
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He's... well, Hung.
Anyone feel bad for this guy? I mean, he's either a marketing genius or a complete dolt.
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Nemesis News
In case anybody out there is still wondering, yes, I am self-defeatingly obsessed with hating on my nemesis. Which is why I point out she appears in a "TV Love Story" in DMagazine's running blog. Check it out. As of this writing, there are four parts to the story already. As with all blogs, the most recent entries are first, so you'll have to scroll down if you want to read the "TV Love Story" in chronological order. I recommend doing so. It's quite funny, and I imagine it would be so even if said-Greek-girl was not my chosen nemesis.
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Modern Day Poets in TV News?
Looks like I am not the only one who notices how almost painfully poetic BH gets in his writing. My friend John and I were eating and he said he didn't know what to do with his life. I say facetiously, "You're adrift in a sea of uncertainty," (something I think I heard on Dawson's Creek.) John goes, "Right, Hawkins."

To illustrate, BH recently did a story on a new highway overpass and said... a.) it would "stitch up a gaping wound in a network of clogged ateries," and b.) it was a "ribbon of asphalt in the shadow of progress." You COULD just call it an overpass, but that's too easy, I guess. John suggested Brad now write haikus instead of packages, just to kick the challenge up a notch. And that he wear a cape, to enhance the sense of drama.
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You Decide.
Animal Cruelty?
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Tulsa World
The current push is to move into the civilized world. I don't know that Tulsa counts, but it's definitely bigger than Waco, and has a lower crime rate. This matters to me now, of course. Before, they were just numbers. Now, the statistic could mean the difference between having a toaster, iron and flip flops... and not.
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The So-Called Greek Goddess, aka My Nemesis
A new Esquire piece touts the importance and dare I say, virtue - of having a nemesis, because EVERY successful person has someone whose drink they'd secretly like to poison with arsenic. Superman has Lex Luthor, Colin Powell has his Donald Rumsfeld, Bush has his Clinton (cause Clinton beat up his dad, says Klosterman).
This morning, my nemesis wore my favorite color - pink - and was called a "goddess," as she was once dubbed by some anti-Fiscus copy editor at D Magazine. I call the anonymous, ebullient copy editor an Anti-Fiscus because I AM CERTAIN if Fiscus was editing that piece, "My Big Fat Greek Ass" would be the headline.
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