3:06pm This is clearly a first date. The woman gave her rundown, she has a little kid, her first job was at Super Cuts. "So I got to see the haircutting industry. The low end of the haircutting industry."

3:07pm: The Christmas music is too loud for me to properly eavesdrop on the man who's talking - he's a mumbler. I think he's in some sort of advertising or techy job. Awkward laughing about how the woman doesn't really know how to use a computer.

3:08pm: I got up to throw something away so I could get a look at the guy. He is pretty skinny/nerdy looking, I still haven't seen the woman's face.

3:09pm: The instrumental version of Feliz Navidad playing overhead is totally distracting me. The woman is apparently in some sort of design program at a local college or university.

She only has one final left.

3:10pm: The dude isn't doing a lot of talking. But he did ask a question to keep her going.

3:11pm: "Let's not forget the Americans with Disabilities Act," she says. "That gets incorporated into every space." (I believe she is in some sort of architecture program.)

3:13pm: Awkward. "If I were in a wheelchair, I'd appreciate it," says the woman. Awkward giggling.

3:14pm: To get out of a short lull in conversation, the man asks more about her designs. She has started in on an art project focused on a woman standing in front of a fireplace. "It was an upholstered fireplace," she says. "I was in awe of the stupidity." He laughs uncomfortably. Mainly he just sits there not saying anything.

3:15pm: He asks where she goes to school. She says it's Texas State in San Marcos. It's an interior design program. "I like it a lot," she says. "I feel like school's never going to end, but that's how I think everybody feels."

3:18pm: She went to Europe last summer. He is the only one asking questions, meaning she's the only one doing any talking. Which is fine for my purposes since it's easier to hear her.

3:20pm: Okay finally we find out where the dude is from. Tyler, Texas. The farthest he's traveled is Canada. He doesn't have an accent. She uses his answer to start talking about how she was born in Arkansas and lived there until she was ten.

3:23pm: His dad is from Michigan. "There's nothing really up there, and my family is unemployed right now." What a date downer. More awkward giggling. He talks about how he wants to be financially secure, she says that's an excellent goal. I think I hate this date.

3:25pm: He went to college at Baylor, which is incidentally in Waco, home of my first post-college job and the quite possibly the insertion point if God were to give the earth an enema.

3:28pm: Oh, something in common. Both have two siblings.

3:32pm: I've been waiting for this conversation to actually scratch the surface, with deeper talk of family or an actual story or two. But nothing. Now they are talking about how they would find it impossible to have roommates.

3:35pm: Now I'm getting distracted by an acoustic guitar version of "Sleigh Ride". Would love to sing along... "Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo hoo..."

3:36pm: This date has been going on for thirty minutes but it feels more like an hour. I think I will abandon this date because it's not half as interesting as the elevator Christmas music playing in this Panera Bread. She's still doing the giggling all the time. He dressed up as a pirate for Halloween. I can't tell if they will be happy together, or if they will ever see each other again. Didn't anyone send them this NY Times story about how no one dates anymore? The model is hook up first, decide if you want to date later.