I didn't realize it at the time, but now that I'm looking back, I don't think the back-assward stories I covered in the two years I spent in Spartanburg, South Carolina can really be topped. Cases in point:

- The time a dude killed his girlfriend/baby mama on July 3rd, wrapped her body in a big plastic tarp and stowed it away in the closet. He then proceeded to invite a bunch of friends and family over for an Independence Day cookout with his dead girlfriend's body stored just a few feet away. Happy Holidays to you, too.

- The time a 17-year-old boy ass-raped a pit bull. Her name was Princess. She survived the initial incident, but died two weeks later of internal bleeding.

- The time a man threw a deadly hot iron to his girlfriend's head, dealing a fatal blow. He then claimed that someone had vandalized the scene of the crime with ketchup and hot sauce to keep the cops off his trail. Seriously.

- Speaking of food products, let's not forget the great chocolate sex caper, which happened in the county just north of Spartanburg.

So, I have nothing but love for the Spartanburg County Sheriff's Office, because they have a lot to deal with given limited resources and crazy shennanigans going on all the time. So if during these tight economic times, the deputies need to pawn off a framed photo of two camels for $55, I'm not going to give them shit about it. But it was worth this blog post.