At Least It's Not SARS
I'm not at "work" because a "Dr. Sprouse" says I have "Acute Conjunctivitis", aka "Pink Eye". I also have some sort of "problem" with "over-using" quotation marks. Thanks "J-Dub", for passing "along" your "over-quoting problem".

This Morning
ME: Hello?
CALLER: Is this E!ise H*?
ME: Yes.
CALLER: This is [some name I forgot] from the FBI office in Spartanburg.
ME: Okay?
CALLER: So, you're back in the country.
ME: Yes.
CALLER: We tried to reach you last week but you were out of the country.

Just when I started to think I was about to get taken away for accidentally forgetting to turn in my customs form or something, he told me he needed to interview me about Jan@e Barker, my onetime college roomie who is getting vetted for a job at the White House. He could have said that right off the bat, you know. Instead, he had to be a tool about it. Later, in the interview, he asked me about J@nae's character (I said it was upstanding), her leadership abilities (I said they were strong), and if I had any concerns about her. I said that I was sorry she was such a hard core Republican. The FBI dude did not laugh.

Photopalooza
Here they are, for your enjoyment.