Re: Sweeps
In honor of this special time of the year, I bring you part of the transcript from "that one Saturday Night Live" where Jerry Seinfeld did a spoof on local news.
Connor Stands: Our top stories tonight: the president has been assassinated. But president of what? We'll tell you in the next half-hour.
Also tonight... a common household item - something we all have in our homes and are probably using right now - is found to be full of lethal poison. We'll tell you what it is at the end of the hour. Taffy?
Taffy Davenport: Also: a psychopathic sex criminal makes a prison break, threatening to kill the person he meets in a large public area.
Connor Stands: More news on that presidential assassination: he will be replaced by the Vice-President. But Vice-President of what? We'll tell you after the break.
By the DMAs
1.New York
Protz
2.Los Angeles (but traveling)
Jayna
3.Chicago
Jason
5.Dallas-Fort Worth
Dan
Jimmie
Seymour
Wongton
6.San Francisco
Hasser
7.Boston
Channing
Jonathan
Josh
10.Houston
Lil' Lost Robot
Matty
12.Phoenix
Erica
14.Seattle-Tacoma
Thomas
34.Cincinnati
Jay
36.Greenville-Spartanburg
Brad
Cinlach
Grayson
Michelle
Sappy Chick
47.Jacksonville
Garvin
49.Austin
Political Junkie
73.Toledo
Maureen
79.Columbia, SC
Doug
Will's Ladies
137.Columbia-Jefferson City
Wohleber
141.Beaumont-Port Arthur
Mark Hancock
150.Anchorage
Matthew
Foreign Bureaus
Jason (Hong Kong)
1.New York
Protz
2.Los Angeles (but traveling)
Jayna
3.Chicago
Jason
5.Dallas-Fort Worth
Dan
Jimmie
Seymour
Wongton
6.San Francisco
Hasser
7.Boston
Channing
Jonathan
Josh
10.Houston
Lil' Lost Robot
Matty
12.Phoenix
Erica
14.Seattle-Tacoma
Thomas
34.Cincinnati
Jay
36.Greenville-Spartanburg
Brad
Cinlach
Grayson
Michelle
Sappy Chick
47.Jacksonville
Garvin
49.Austin
Political Junkie
73.Toledo
Maureen
79.Columbia, SC
Doug
Will's Ladies
137.Columbia-Jefferson City
Wohleber
141.Beaumont-Port Arthur
Mark Hancock
150.Anchorage
Matthew
Foreign Bureaus
Jason (Hong Kong)
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