Bill Parcells Isn't a Stay the Course Kind of Guy*
Parcells decided to cut and run on Mike Vanderjagt, the Cowboys' "idiot kicker". Don't let the door hit ya, Mike.

Video: Parcells Tuesday News Conference

*I guess that means Parcells is a terrorist-lover.

Men of the Week (and weekend)
Chris "Voggie" V0gnar
General Shinseki (now my myspace friend, and can be yours too)
Sparky Polastri from Bring it On... is he Gabrielle's new man on Desperate Housewives?

Bring On The Snippet
"Drumline. One of my favorite movies. Right up there with Bring it On 2. Or was it Still Bringin' It... or Brought it On? Whatever."

(The correct name of the sequel to Bring it On is Bring it On Again. There's also a Bring it On: All or Nothing in the works.)

How 'Bout Them Cowboys!?!?
The best part of the Cowboys game broadcast came during the second half, when producers cut together a little montage featuring a bunch of shots of Tony Romo to the James Taylor song, "Your Smiling Face". What a QB! (And what a cutie!)

Speaking of The Big D...
Will be back in Dallas for Thanksgiving weekend, and S@ra the Lasure Beam will be meeting me. My wireless internet seems to be flaking out so I think I'm just gonna drop off the cyber-radar for a few days. Full report when I'm back on the internets.

It's the Day Before Thanksgiving! Guess Where I Am?
a.) Getting my purse snatched in Argentina
b.) Hanging out with the "Call me, Harold" girl at the Derek Zoolander School For Kids Who Can't Read Good
c.) Trying to get my hands on black market copy of "If I Did It" by OJ Simpson
d.) At the airport doing inane live shots like every other television reporter in Amerca

This is not a trick question.

I'm Bringing MOTW Back... Them Other Boys Don't Know How to Act
Sometime around the time I moved here, I abandoned my two-year-old series "Men of the Week" and the somewhat newer series, "Snippet from Stiles". I didn't mean to, I think I just got busy. Anyway, here goes:

Lyndon B. Johnson
Tony Romo
Tom Cruise
Steny Hoyer (OK. Is "Steny" his REAL NAME? How can that NOT be short for something?)

The Snippet
"Man, I should have donkey-punched her when I had the chance." -Stiles, on a woman whose name shall not be mentioned

Asian Power
I had a lot of fun today at the LBJ Presidential Library. They just released 58 hours of previously unreleased phone conversations from 1966. There was one where he talks to Congressman Wilbur Mills about his recent trip to Korea:

November 12, 1966 9:21a.m.

"They're the damndest fighters you ever saw. If I told you what I saw you just wouldn't believe it. I saw a fellow take a piece of granite the size of a brick and hit it with the top of his head and break it about half in two. I saw him step up and kick a man from behind, sorta like a horse, and kick him right in the nose. A little old fellow about four and a half feet tall, kick a man six feet. Right in the nose."

This brings me to so many questions. Did they just pull out some short Korean guy and have him do a bunch of tricks for the President? Where did they find that guy? Or can ALL Koreans break granite with their foreheads?

Tester Me
Making a run for Jack's Favorite US Senator these days is Jon Tester, the newly elected senator from Montana. Sure, he sports an H.R. Haldeman haircut -- but he's so NOT senator-ish! Can't wait for him to show stiffs like Trent Lott how to butcher a cow.

Namely...
Fantasy Congress draft is about to get underway, and some good team names have already been taken:

"Page Patrolers"
"Intern Inebriators"
"The Fightin' Earmarks"
"Unfunded Mandates"
And my personal favorite, "Bipartisanshit"

Starstruck
Unless you've been in a cave, you've seen this buxom blonde on TV. She probably got more free airtime last month than Lindsay Lohan. The attack ad she was in sparked a shitstorm in a hotly contested US Senate race in Tennessee.



Turns out she lives in Austin, and she shot the commercial in Dallas last month. She tells me she added the wink at the end all on her own. She also said she doesn't understand why there was so much hoopla over the ad, but that her commercial acting career has taken off as a result. Oh, and I got her to do the "call me" pose again:



And if you're interested, more Campaign 2006 photos are here.

Wink Wink
I'm fixing to put up a post I hope you'll find amusing. In the meantime, I am battling some nasty fall allergies as Mr. Stiles spends the morning entering campaign finance data into a spreadsheet (I think he thinks it's a fun weekend exercise or something).

Re: Election Day in the Life... in Pictures
I can't quite describe what a small space we were forced into. Here's a look at the room when things were set up, but no one was in position. It's not a good shot because I couldn't be bothered to take photos once the liveshots got going, but you can get an idea:



I stood on the top rung of this little step ladder all night:



And photog Todd was totally miserable. Here he tries to look happy but it doesn't really work:



Notice the guy in front of Todd? He's the same guy you can see in the shot of my stepladder. The ladder fit snugly behind guy with green shirt and in front of Todd's camera. The viewers at home got up close and personal with my face, cause I was six inches away from the lens.

It was a great night, though. No problems with audio, IFB or producers. Now THAT deserves its own victory party.

Post-Election Whiplash
I am so CONFUSED right now!
I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of alternate-reality vortex in which Britney is getting divorced and looking hotter, the Democrats have taken back the House and Senate, and Donald Rumsfeld is no longer Defense Secretary. Did I swallow the wrong pill? My world is on its ass! Where am I???

Election Day in the Life: A 67 Degrees Live Blogging Event
Thanks to Otis via CJ for this brilliant idea. If I have to be live on TV all night, why not be live on the internet all day? This may get a little hairy when I have to do work-work, but I'll try my best.

12:54pm-- Have arrived at work for my 1pm call time. Todd the photog is already grumpy. He went to The Omni, where we are stationed tonight, to mark off our riser position. Too bad the riser positions are about the size of a large shoebox. (WHY can't the Texas GOP get this straight?) Todd says I will be basically butting up against the competition's photogs all night long. Glad I showered today.

1:38pm-- Off to the Omni!

3:11pm-- Todd was right to be frustrated. Reporters and photos will be piled on top of each other, and it's gonna be real interesting when we're all going live at the same time. Meanwhile, Dallas CBS is getting some sort of hum in their audio, and they are threatening to unplug everyone's audio until they get rid of the hum. Party on! It's election day.

4:47pm-- Gotta go do live shot. But I just wanted to update - State Rep. Patrick Rose got punched out at a polling place today by Rick Green, the Republican he defeated in 2002. Hilarious!

5:33pm-- They need to do a security sweep. There are 26 camera crews packed in here on two risers, and we all have to evacuate the ballroom in an hour. This doesn't pose any problems for our cut ins or anything...

6:00ish-- I receive an email from Stiles with some serious breaking news: Britney has filed for divorce! WHAT? This totally blindsided me! Convenient timing, Brit Brit.

8:37pm-- Have been very curious about the US House and Senate but don't have time to read anything. Shoot, Lt. Gov David Dewhurst's taking the stage, gotta go....

9:34pm-- Getting very HOT in this room. This is the smallest GOP victory party room I have ever been in, though Jim Talent's victory ballroom in 2002 could compete. The band is playing "Margaritaville", but that's a Jimmy Buffett song. And Buffett is a big Kinky supporter. I guess no one really cares.

Oh yeah, the GOP swept all the statewide offices here. Not a surprise. Perry's about to come out and make his victory speech.

10:21pm-- Perry's done talking. I, however, am not done talking. We're on for an extended one-hour newscast, where I will do my 17th liveshot. All the reporters are fanning themselves, like I said, it's gotten very warm in here.

2:28am-- Finally home to watch returns (we detoured after wrapping up to get drinks with our friends). And whoa, the Dems picked up Missouri?!?!? Frankly I thought Talent would hang on. Also realized that when you're a political reporter on election night, you can't effectively live blog because you have to be on the air a lot. Hey, I tried.

Decision 2006
Don't forget to vote! If you need some inspiration, I offer a quote from W., The President:
"Fool me once, shame on... shame on...you. [PAUSE]. If you fool me you can't get fooled again."

T-Minus 10 Hours
...Until polls open! Soon, all those badly produced campaign commercials with the music that changes from ominous to describe the opponent, to majestic when describing the candidate, will be off the air.

I love being out in the field on election night, but it would be even COOLER to be home watching Hardball cover the returns all night long. What happens to the U.S. House and U.S Senate is far more exciting to me than our statewide races (which will all go GOP). Plus, I really need to pay attention to those results so I can be ready to draft the best congressmen for Fantasy Congress.

Trying to Get It Straight
I had big hopes for Sorkin's Studio 60. Then I started reading stuff about how it was canceled already. I google newsed it again tonight and now it looks like it's NOT canceled. I'm so confused...

Either way, I have the complete second season of The Office to keep me going. I love the one where Dwight asks Toby, the HR guy, about the female anatomy. I crack up just thinking about it. And I love the one where Dwight gets a concussion. And Michael's freaky obsession with the asshole temp, Ryan. And how Dwight and Angela started that secret relationship. And when Jim tricked Dwight into an "alliance". And when Dwight dressed up as that dark Sith Lord. I pretty much love everything about Dwight.